The Power of Vacation

I ended 2015 with the attitude of, "F&*k it, I do what I want." After a year, of doing things to set myself up for a healthy pregnancy and future child, and then having that not happen, I commissioned 2016 as "Jewel's Year of Fun."  This is exactly what I told my transplant nephrologist when I told him I was taking my second vacation of the 2016 in March.  Yes, my second.

Living for the Weekend-- Sprung

My weekend recap series "Living for the Weekend" was on hiatus for fall and winter.  But I'm bringin' back, y'all, for spring and summer!

Yeah so this is back.  Does this mean I'm incredibly lame and boring during the colder months of the year?  I don't know...I don't think so.  I actually did pretty well this year as far as forcing myself to do things on the weekends even though it felt like the worst winter in the history of winters.  I didn't really start to let my S.A.D. get me down until maybe March, when I was sick for most of the month.  Poor March. I never really enjoyed you.

ALAS, Spring is REALLY here now. Therefore, fun is allowed.

• After coming to the realization that we didn't do anything fun with each other during the month of March, except for flying First Class back to D.C. post snowstorm on March 3, Ben and I dedicated ourselves last week getting our "fun" meter up ASAP.  One of our favorite local beer-makers released a new brew (Ways & Means, after the most powerful committee of old men in the country) on Friday.  In pure "me" fashion, during our visit to the brewery, I took one sip and swore that I was already drunk.
• On Saturday, I met up with some friends for brunch at someone's house. No pictures, but we had an excellent discussion on this book.
• Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.  This Sunday was basically my idea of the perfect Sunday.  Not only did I discover that Ben and I hadn't gone on any dates last month, but I also hadn't enjoyed a relaxing weekend in a pretty long time. My weekend free time has either been stolen by fatigue or illness, a crowded schedule of social events and  commitments, or by a never ending list of errands that need runnin' or household chores that need doin'.  This year I'm learning big time that I HATE being busy all the time.  The thought of having something to do every day after work and multiple things to do over the weekends just doesn't appeal to me anymore like I did when I was 24 and younger.  I love the feeling I get when I look at my schedule for Saturday, Sunday, or after work and see that there is absolutely nothing that I have to do.  It's wide open for things that I want to do.  So last week, I strategically planned to finish more of my chores/errands/events during the workweek and on Saturday, so that on Sunday...I could do whatever I want.  We went to church.  We walked for an hour on the George Washington Parkway in the BEST weather since spring started.  Went to Costco. Took naps. I made an awesome dinner. Watched TV. Played my bass. And it was amazing.  My goal from here on out is to have at least ONE day or weekend like this, every single month.  

And based on my schedule, this past Sunday might have been my one relaxing day of the month.  Oh well.  In exactly 28 days...I'll be relaxing in a Greek paradise (!!!!!!!!!!!!!). 

Christmas Crazy: Traditions and the Ornament Contest

This is Ben's and my FIRST CHRISTMAS TOGETHER!  It's not our first time exchanging gifts or being with each others' families but it's our first Christmas as Ashmans.   As in, our first Christmas as our own "Ashman" family unit.  Alright, enough of that.  I've driven the point home pretty well I think.  We just got married, so there's a lot of firsts and...probably overly mushy moments. But whatever! This is my blog. It's partly about my relationship for goodness sake, hence the blog name.

ANYHOO, it's our first X-mas. And if you read the last Christmas Crazy post you'd know I'm obsessed with Christmas. It's my favorite holiday of the year.  And I think my family likes Christmas just as much.  We have a bunch of family traditions that we like to keep going every year. So I thought, well Ben and I are a family.  But we don't have any traditions yet!  Enter, the "make your own ornament" contest.  Ben's and my Christmas tree has a good amount of ornaments on it.  We have red and gold bulbs (in honor of our Chiefs football team), some angel ornaments, six or seven cat ornaments that I purchased from World Market, a Princess Tiana ornament that we received from Ben's best man, and a new ornament we bought on our mini-moon in Sedona.  

But besides collecting ornaments from places we visit (I can't wait to see what we bring home from Vegas and Greece next year!), I thought we could take it back to elementary school. Remember when you were like six or seven years old and your teacher said the class was going to make ornaments to give to our parents?  So you got a piece of construction paper and scribbled some nonsense on it, maybe tried to fold it and make it look all unique and stuff.  And maybe you added a school photo of yourself, you know, for creativity and cuteness.  Then you'd give it to your parents on Christmas and they'd  be like "Awwww!"  And if your parents were MY parents, that ornament ended up in the trash with the rest of the torn up wrapping paper.  If you were Ben's parents, they might have actually kept that ornament for years and years and years a look upon it fondly when it hangs on the tree.  

Well, I'm hoping to be the latter. This Christmas is the first year that Ben and I agreed to each make an ornament for our Christmas tree, then have a third party choose which one is the best for a prize to be determined at a later date.  I don't know if it's really a contest.  But it was the only way I could get Ben to agree to forming the tradition with me.  So, whatever.  The goal is to do this every year just us, until we have children old enough to use their fingers, then the kids will join in on the fun, making a new ornament each year.  I haven't met my kids yet and Ben and I don't know when they'll get here (next year, in 10 years, who knows), but I already can't wait to see what they come up with for the tree! 

Here are my offerings for this year's "contest:"

My ornaments are a riff on these lovely Martha Stewart ones.  The photos are our engagement photos.  I doubt I'll get tired of looking at these hanging on the tree every year.  Especially when Ben and I are old and getting fat and graying.  Every Christmas we'll have a reminder of how hot we used to be.  SIGH.  

Anyways, here's to Christmas and OUR family traditions.  

Last mushy note of the day:  Ben and I have officially been married for more than half a year.
Our six month-iversary was Dec. 15.  And so far, marriage has been incredibly awesome.  

How My Sister Unintentionally Talked Me Out of Buying Lotto Tickets

It started with a text:

Then a phone call:

Me:  So are you going to play the lotto?!

Jocelyn: I don't know how.

Me: What? I used to go with mommy all the time when I was little.  I would tell people at school, "Yeah I play the lotto."  

Jocelyn: Shut up, you didn't play nothing.

Me:  Yeah but I picked the numbers sometimes.  Well, anyways, take Danyelle with you.

Jocelyn:  If I don't know how to play the lotto then what makes you think Danyelle is going to know how to play the lotto?

Me:  I don't know! Moral support!  Maybe mommy and daddy will go.  Don't they always play the big ones?

Jocelyn:  Yeah.  Well if they go, I'll go.  

Me:  Ok...do you think I should play the lotto?

Jocelyn:  I don't know, yeah?

Me:  Yeah, I don't know.  I don't think i'll win.  But part of me just wants to win one of the small prizes.  Like enough to pay off the rest of my student loans.

Jocelyn:  Yeah, but winning it won't make you happier.

Me:  Um, yes it will! I'll be able to pay off my loans.

Jocelyn: Yeah but after you pay off your loans you won't have the money. You won't be happier.

Me: Yes, I will! I'll be debt-free! Just think, what if you could win the lotto and pay for the rest of your college education.  Then, when you graduate and get your first job, you'll owe nothing to anybody.  To me that's the success of the lotto: not having to owe anything to anybody.

Jocelyn:  Yeah that would be nice.

Me:  See!  And for me, just think if I had that money I pay in student loans every month, in my pocket...

Jocelyn:  Oh Ballin!!

Me:  Right?!

Jocelyn:  But I'm telling you, you won't be happier.  Don't you watch those documentaries on TLC about the people who won the lotto?  Once you win the money, and spend it or do whatever with it, you'll be focused on the next thing.  Thinking about what else you can get.

Me: Yeah but still!

Jocelyn:  I mean you'll be debt free but I'm just saying it's not like you'll be happier than you are now.  

Me:  Are you saying I shouldn't spend money to buy lotto tickets?  Is that what you're saying?

Jocelyn:  No I'm just saying...

Me:  You know what?!  Forget it!  I'm not going to buy them.  

Jocelyn:  Oh, ok.

Me: Are you happy now? You and your psychological bullshit just made me change my mind.  Are you happy?

Jocelyn:  I mean, I don't know.

Me:  Because I'm not.  Congratulations, you have actually made me UNHAPPY.  In fact, there's no need to play the lotto now, since apparently if I had won the lotto I wouldn't have been happier, I would have been unhappy, isn't that right?

Jocelyn:  I guess so, that's what happens. Haven't you watched TLC?

Me:  Well, then good job Jocelyn.  We skipped right over the lotto and winning the money part and straight to the unhappiness.  I guess now I can keep my five dollars.  So thank you Jocelyn.  For giving me a reality check.

Jocelyn: Well...you're welcome.  


Two Hours Later...

 

 

Somebody's Godmother

The doubts started with a middle name. And a question, or more like a quiz, testing my knowledge of my nephew (on my husband’s side) for whom I would be his Godmother. 

Before the pop quiz, I was probably what most people would describe as a little too enthused about being a Godparent, especially nowadays where more and more people in the country are moving away from bestowing such a title.  But over the past year, alongside with me battling kidney failure which was testing my own relationship with God and others, I felt like I might have a lot to give if I was to become someone’s Godparent.  I’ve had trials. I’ve had tribulations.  I know things.  I know bedtime stories.  I have...some money.  But inquiries into my Godparent qualifications were clearly further down the list on the “do you know your Godson pop quiz.” And The first essay question posed to me by my father-in-law.  What is my future Godson Ryker’s middle name?

Of course I knew the middle name, I said.  Ummm, it’s…um…it’s…”

No matter how many times I ummed I couldn’t think of it.  How did this become my first test as a Godmother?   Who uses middle names anyways? I never use my middle name.  I don’t even remember some of my family members’ middle names.  Middle names are where women’s maiden names go to die.  Middle names are those names that outgoing seniors prefer not to have read aloud when they walk across the stage at their high school graduation.

I know his first name.  And his last name.  What is the big deal, I thought?

Question two:  Did you prepare a speech, my father-in-law asked.  Again, my response started with Um.    

I went home that night thinking about all the things I didn’t know:  his middle name, a potential speech requirement, how to turn a pumpkin into a carriage and make Cinderella’s dreams come true.   Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling I could feel little thought-seedlings taking root and sprouting little buds, each one opening up and releasing the very pungent aroma of “You’re not good enough” and the fragrance sequel of “They’re going to regret asking you to be the Godmother” 

I flung my body to its other side, facing Ben’s back, and asked him if he thought I’d be a terrible Godmother.    He muttered something that sounded like a yes and then went back to sleep.

In the days that followed, I Googled as much as possible about Godparents and what I was supposed to do.  I even hashed out a few strategies I could use on my journey to induction into the Godmother Hall of fame.  The first of which being to buy ten kiddie shirts from Baby Gap on the 9th of every month, to commemorate the monthiversary of his baptism.  The second: Stuff a build-a-bear once a month, each one with different occupations to inspire my little Godson to be a fireman bear, a baseball bear, and astronaut bear...or even just a bear if that’s what he chooses to do for his future occupation.  Every kid wants to be an animal at some point.  

I also planned to go to Costco once a month and buy one bulk-sized bag of candy and wrap it in a box and ship it to my Godson so that he knows how much I love him.  This will eventually lead into a lesson on how to avoid crying while getting your cavities filled in hell...also known as the dentist’s office.  Yes, these were all good strategies I thought.  I was so proud of myself.  There’s no way this baby was going to have an absent Godmother.  This baby will know how much I love him because he’ll have a closet full of clothes to outgrow in the next month., and enough build a bears to form a seven-nation army of stuffed animals, and enough candy to guarantee he’ll never have to go to bed without dessert.  Yes.  I will buy his love. Because that’s always worked.

And then I started feeling depressed again because the truth is that I am one financially challenged Godmother who should probably be applying the cost of that Costco-sized bag of candy to my college loans.

I was back to where I started, throwing myself a pity party for being a terrible Godmother before my duties have officially begun.  

While at brunch one day with some friends, I told them what I’d been struggling with.  I’d been working myself into a panic over whether I would be a good Godmom.  I wondered allowed if this is how REAL parents feel: like they’re not going to measure up.  Do they worry that that their kids are going end up making mistakes like getting suspended from junior high or skipping school to drink before the football game?  Do they worry that their kids will end up blaming their actions or inactions for their relationship issues, or financial issues or emotional issues?  In my situation, I worry that because of some inaction or action on my part, this baby will grow up with some warped perception of God, the Bible, church-folk, possibly because I still fall short in my relationship with God...because I still haven’t memorized those six Bible verses that I said I would memorize, because I still haven’t joined a serving team at church after saying I was going to do it 10 months ago.  And because sometimes I still say that grace over dinner that I learned with I was four (God is great, God is good. Let us thank him for our food)

“I was reading somewhere,” my friend Ann recalled, “that the best thing that you could ever do for your child, is pray for them.”  

Could that really be it, I wondered?  

The week leading up to my Godson’s baptism, I prepared my G-son’s little gifts and purchased tissue paper and bags.  No card though because I couldn’t find one worthy of NOT throwing in the trash.  During one free night I had, I decided to do some journaling, and jot down some thoughts. Unexpectedly, I started to write what was beginning to look like a list of wishes and hopes for my Godson.  A prayer even.  A prayer that Ryker grows into a man who knows God and knows Him well, and will choose to have a close and personal with Him someday.  I prayed that once he learns to walk, while it’ll start out as a crawl, and then a little staggering through the living room, and eventually a run down the sidewalk near his house, that God will walk with him ordering his steps.   Boys will be boys, and Ryker is no exception.  I hope that even when he’s in the midst of “being a boy” and getting dirty and skinning his knee, and dating that girl, and doing that keg stand if he so chooses too, that he will remember that he is a child of a God that loves unconditionally, and forgives, even when Ryker feels he’s not worthy of it.  

 

I also asked God to help me give Ryker good advice when he asks for it, and keep my mouth shut when he doesn’t.  More than anything I ask that God help me to lead Ryker to Him during every challenge, victory, upset, and happiness in life.

The day of the baptism arrived.  And Ben, my sister, and I arrived super early, half an hour early.  This is not us.  We’re usually half an hour late. While waiting for everyone else to show up we explored the inside of the sanctuary, stopping at the “stations” depicting different scenes from Jesus’s crucifixion.  And of course no baptism is complete without a sisterly rendition of “The Blood Will Never Lose It’s Power” and “Oh Happy Day” in a cold empty church.

Eventually the crowd arrived--grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, and my Godson, all dressed in white, ready to have water poured on his head.  I held him until the ceremony began and PRAISE THE LORD he did not cry.  First Godmother mission accomplished.  Pat on the back.  

Then the baptism ceremony began, and a book was read aloud about a mom who was crazy in love with her baby boy, which eventually ended up telling the story about a mom who has some serious boundary issues.  Just kidding but not really.  It was a sweet book...up until the point where the mom entered her grown son’s house through his bedroom window to rock him to sleep (he can’t be married, clearly).  

After the reading it was time for action to begin. Ryker and I walked up to the front of the church, where a stone basin with water sat.  I was prepared for my second Godmother duty of the day….to hand the child off to the priest so that he could pour the water on his head.  That was the plan right?  I’d memorized the middle name.  I even thought about a few lines for a speech.  I bought gifts. I prayed.  I held the baby.  My role for the day was just about over.  Oh, except for the part where the priest asked me to lean the baby over the basin. This was part of the plan that I hadn’t Googled or prepared for. And I definitely didn’t pray about it.

As I started to lean Ryker over the basin, several scary visions flashed before my eyes.  An image of Ryker’s head hitting the concrete basin appeared.  Then I saw myself unintentionally giving Ryker a full water baptism.  It was then that I made my first  “Godmommy” decision to delegate my first real responsibility to the Godfather.  And he dunked the baby and I was thankful.  I didn’t want to be the one to blame for giving Ryker a concussion as soon as he received the Holy Spirit.  

I looked on as the water hit his little scalp and he wiggled.  I felt a bit sad that I couldn’t do this one thing that I was expected to do as a Godmother on the day of his baptism...along with remembering names, and buying candy and giving advice.  But I felt like I was doing what I was supposed to do in that moment.  I thanked God for that moment.  And I sent up a prayer asking God to show me how to be a good Godmother to Ryker, how to be a good role model for him, and how to pray for him. And how to play with him and love him and teach him about God, and how incredibly awesome and wonderful and GOOD God is.

I also prayed that Ryker would not remember how I bobbled him over a sink filled with cold November water before he could even swim.  Amen.

Unofficial End of Summer

"If it could only be like this always - always summer, always alone, the fruit always ripe..."

Evelyn Waugh

I know, I know.  Summer is not officially over until Sept. 22.   Even though I've been out of school for a while, and haven't had a "summer break" in four years, I still associate Labor Day with the end of summer.  Like I've told you in the past:  I still get really annoyed/irritated/pissed off when I see or hear back-to-school commercials.    All the places that I attended school, except for Texas and Kansas, we started school the day after Labor Day.  The weekends leading up to it were spent cleaning our rooms, or shopping at JC Penney and the PX or Wal-Mart, writing those summer reading papers, or actually trying to finish reading the book and praying that the teacher would extend the paper deadline. Then Labor Day would arrive.  My parents could always be counted on to light up the grill for one of our summer al fresco meals. And that familiar smoke would fill my nostrils for one last time.  I'm sure there were some rainy Labor Days, but I remember more days with that perfect summertime weather: no clouds, perhaps a bit humid, but it was hot.  Which is, in my opinion, how all summer days should be.  I ain't no Maine chick, ya hear me? I'll take hot and humid over snowy and frigid any day.  

So anyways, this has been A summer.  I've had some awesome days and weeks.  I've definitely had bad days and weeks this summer, but thank God the good outweigh the bad by so much.  Summer trumped winter and spring of this year.  Summer left winter and spring of this year in the dust.  However, spring comes in at a very very close second because that was the season that my life changed, and I welcomed my dad's kidney to it's new home.  

After this Labor Day, we'll have three more weeks to pretend like summer is still here.  But it'll be difficult because after the first week, the media will be urging us to break out our sweaters and boots and order another round of pumpkin spice lattes for the group.  And it'll be hard to resist because I love a good pair of boots, and pumpkin spice lattes sooth my soul.  

So, until next time, summer.  Thinking of your arrival each year makes my heart smile.  

Enjoy some collages from a few of my summer experiences. 

DISCLAIMER: things not shown include the hour-long argument Ben and I had over my car battery and the fact that I didn't have a new one yet; not attractive but tasty homemade burritos; me living my life the way I usually live it on a daily basis. 

Living for the Weekend: Eatin Good in the Neighborhood/A Reminder

"After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me"

Not For a Moment, Meredith Andrews

 

The lyrics above are from a song we sang in church on Sunday.  One of my new favorites. Reminded me so much of how far God has brought me.  Three, basically four months ago, I received a new lease on life.  Anything, ALL THINGS, are possible with God leading us.

And thank God for making this weekend possible.  It was an OK weekend.  The UPs were I got to spend a lot of time outside, enjoying the city, people, spreading the word about kidney disease.  I also got to stuff my face with some really good food.  The DOWN:  I'm having car problems.  'Nuf said.

Top Left (1st and 2nd):  I had enough leftover produce last week to make cob salad with fresh corn to take with me to volunteer for NKF on Saturday.  So I didn't have to spend $8 on something I could have made myself, and I was able to stay on my low-sodium diet.  Fitting since I was talking to people about kidney disease and the effects of high-sodium diets.  I like to set a good example when I'm willing and able.  Sunday night, I enjoyed a ricotta and chive frittata with potato salad.  AKA, girl food because Ben was out for the night.

Bottom Left:  On Sunday night, Ben and I were both completing the drafts for our Fantasy Football Leagues.  Years ago, when I first started dating Ben, I really didn't understand what all the hoopla was about.  Fantasy football seemed kind of dumb.  Eight years later and married:  I still don't understand the hoopla. But what I do know is that it is kind of fun. And it gives you people to root for on Sundays if you're not that into football.  I'm running my work league this year.  Amazed at how far I've come.  

Bottom Right:  I volunteered at a health fair with NKF on Saturday.  More on that Wednesday.

Top Right:  It was so nice here in D.C.  I spent a few hours eating lunch and just hanging out at the Navy Memorial.  Before meeting up with my cousin for delicious Dim Sum.  

That was a lot to write.  I'm actually looking forward to writing a LFTW post that's like...one sentence.  This summer has been BIIIIIZZZZZZYYYYYY.  I kind of hate it, kind of like it. But I'm also kind of tired.  And kind of cranky.  Can you tell?

Anyways, in case you too need a reminder on this Monday morning (I know I do), take in Meredith's message.  God is with you today.  You WILL make it to Tuesday in one piece, and not wanting to kill your boss/coworker/child/person at the bank.

 

Living for the Weekend--Food, Cars, and Shows

From D.C. to N.Y.

 

 

It was another busy summer weekend for the Ashmans.   But that seems to really be the theme of the summer.  Ever since the wedding, it's kind of been all systems go for us.  I love love LOVE summer. It's my favorite season of the year. I still get pissed off when I see commercials for back-to-school clothes...even though I've been out of school for four years already.  BUT, there's a small part of me that's looking forward to fall.  Looking at my September and October schedules it's kind of a relief to not have anything planned for a while.   

• Top Left and Right/bottom Left:  I'd been feeling kind of down lately and as much as Ben, the great husband that he is, tried to pick me back up, it just wasn't working. Luckily, the next best thing to a husband is two wonderful sisters. We got together to hang out at the food truck festival in D.C. then ended the night on the stairs of one of my [new] favorite thinking spots--the Masonic Temple in Old Town Alexandria.  A Friday outing with them was just what I needed before...
• Bottom Right:  Spending a day and a half with alllll of Ben's best friends. For good cause though:  the guy who sang at our wedding was performing at a show in New York!  He did an awesome job and the "story" of "Storyville" is actually pretty intriguing.  There was lots of interracial love in this play, specifically of the white and black variety, which I was loving of course.

Living for the Weekend: Birthdays, Sick Days, Name Change

Whew, what a weekend.

• Top Left:  I made Ben's birthday cake, from scratch.  It's the classic yellow with Chocolate Frosting.  And so far, this is the best yellow cake from scratch that I've ever made.  For five years now I've been making yellow cakes that were really dry, or just missing the mark.  This recipe that I found on Bakerella really brought me closer to my dream of the perfect, Box quality, yellow cake from scratch.
• Bottom Left:  My kitty! Burton!  When you have a cat you're just obligated to take multiple random pictures of that cat.  
• Top Right:  One of the best things I've discovered, is making homemade sausage.  It's soooo easy and cost effective. I cooked up some chicken sausage that I made back in May but froze in my freezer.
• Middle Right:  A beautiful sunset from my friend's roof top at the outdoor happy hour she hosted.  I didn't drink anything but it was probably for the best because....
• I went to the hospital the next day (bottom right).  Oops.  I'm OK now, but Sunday kind of sucked.  And I felt like crap for the entire day, and half of today.  Gotta love the IV picture.  I've got a bunch of them.  Just like with cats---if you have multiple IVs put in, you're kind of obligated to take pictures of every single one.  

P.S.  I've been married for a month!  And in case you haven't noticed,  I officially changed my last name.  As a child, I always thought/knew that I would just take my husband's last name.  But then once I started my career path, I realized that I really like my maiden last name.  Actually, I love it.  It really just goes so well with the rest of my name, first and middle.  And you want to know something funny?  I was always secretly jealous of hyphenates.  Like, how come they got two last names and I only had one?!  I was even jealous of the hyphenated first names, like John-Paul or Jessie-Lynn.  Well, guess what?  Dreams do come true.  I am finally....a hyphenate. 

Transplants and the Great Outdoors

During the wedding planning process, Ben and I set up three different registries.  We knew that most people probably wouldn't even go onto our registries and that they would just give cash or checks.  And most did.  But, just in case we had some "gift givers"--and by that I mean people who enjoy the registry process, going through the list, picking out the items--we selected some gifts from Macy's, Amazon, and a honeymoon registry.  Our Macy's registry was our "grown-up" registry, which is what we like to call it, because we asked for things that grown-ups need. Like drinking glasses and an awesome rice cooker.  We also asked for a Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer Ice Cream Attachment.  That counts as something grown-ups need, right?

Our Amazon registry was basically filled with stuff that we could buy to facilitate our hobbies.  Spending time outdoors is one of our favorite things to do, along with traveling.  How original!  A married couple who like traveling and going outside (OK I'll stop now. I know sarcasm doesn't always come across well in print).   So we asked for some camping equipment of our own. We got a lot of great gifts from our friends and family members and this past weekend we decided to break in some of our new gear. 

Before we left for the trip I was kind of nervous because this was the first major trip that I've done since I had the transplant.  We went camping in Virginia of course, so it's not like I went on an eight hour flight.  But when you have a transplant there are certain things that you try to avoid:  germs, germs, bacteria, bug bites, animal bites, oh and also bacteria and germs.  Spending the night outside, eating outside, sleeping outside proved to be my first big challenge since living on my own post-transplant.  So I came up with a short list (and added some pictures) for the bacteria-conscious and low-sodium diet campers out there.

Tip #1:  Un-can your beans.
 

Ben and I wanted to keep things easy for this trip. I know some people like to make gourmet meals with fancy stoves for their camping trips.  But Ben and I didn't actually request a fancy stove on our registry.  We decided to go with the free option of cooking things over the fire with sticks and a pan.  So baked beans and hot dogs were on the menu.  There's really no way to get around the processing of hot dogs.  Those are just one of the few things that really taste much better the way they're made...how ever they are made.  But I knew that I could cut out most of the sodium sodium, high fructose corn syrup, and other additives that come with canned baked beans.  So I made my own, basing much of what I used on this recipe.  I started a little late (like the day before we left for the trip) so I didn't have a two-hour block of time to just stand at the stove and stir, like the recipe says. So I put the beans in my slow-cooker for eight hours.  And I have to say, these beans were so good.  I put enough for Ben and I in a mason jar, and froze the rest.  

And yes, behind those beans you can see the box of my new RED Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer.  EEEEEEE!

Tip #2:  Also have wipes.
One of the first things they tell you as a transplant patient is that the drugs we take make us more susceptible to illness.  I take immunosuppressants to keep my body from attacking my dad's kidney.  So I have to wash my hands all the time, and when I can't get to a faucet I use hand sanitizer.  Touching the outside of a tent, then the car, then grass, then the dirty picnic table, then eating hotdogs with my hands was not gonna be the right way to go.  Ben and I bought roughly nine liters of water with us on the trip to use for drinking (I have medicine to take, so I drink a lot of water), washing, and whatever else comes up.  I also made sure to pick up three different types of wipes:

I picked these anti-bacterial wipes along with a travel pack of Clorox bleach wipes.  

Tip #3  Pack extra medicine.
 I made sure I had enough medicine to cover me for a while.  If I had forgot the wipes, oh well.  Forgot the tent, oh well.  Forgot my medicine?  That would have been an "oh sh$%" moment.  Another thing the doctors and nurses tell transplant patients:  always take your medicine.  Missing a dose, could mean rejection.  And that's something that seriously scares the crap out of me. I want to be able to go on trips and have fun like normal people do.  But I can only relax and have fun when I know my medicine has been taken or that I at least have extra in my purse.  People who don't take a daily pill for an illness don't necessarily get how missing a dose can just completely ruin your mood.  Even Ben, who's the most supportive husband and even reminds me before bed to take my medicine, has had moments where he's asking "Do your really need it?" to avoid having to turn the car around or stop whatever exciting thing we're doing or about to do.  The answer is always "yes, I really need it."  Camping or not, it's my responsibility to protect my body, and protect my dad's investment in my life.  Who cares about camping if your kidneys don't work?  Nobody, I hope.

Our first camping trip as married people was fun and just what we needed. We're looking forward to taking this show on the road/plane in just 3 1/2 weeks.  Not sure if I mentioned it yet, but we're going camping at the Grand Canyon!  And Sedona, Arizona which I've only heard great things about.  I've never been to either place so this will be my first big adventure, post-transplant.  Here's more pictures from our first trip with our wedding gifts:

We were pretty close to our campsite but we had to stop so that Ben could eat without veering off the road.  View's not bad, either.

Our site, and you can see our tent!  The weather was perfect so we set it up without the rain fly.  From inside the tent, we could stare up at the beautiful sky.  

And at night, we could look up at the stars, which we don't really get to see as much since we live in the city.  Below you'll see our chairs.

Now look at us actually using the chairs!

A good-bye view from Loft Mountain.  These memories come courtesy of all the people who gave us these awesome camping gifts and gift cards.  We couldn't have done it without you.  Thank-you cards are on the way.  It's just taking forever to write them. 

Wedding Recap: The Best Rehearsal Dinner Ever...Probably

Finaaaalllly getting around to doing the first serious wedding recap since Ben and I got married.  Man....it's hard being tied down!  No time for anything...not even blog posts.  I'm just kidding.  Really I'm just trying to get caught up on all the stuff I'd been meaning to do while I was sick and while I was planning the wedding.  Think:  Never ending to-do lists.  Also, Ben and I have been semi hard at work planning our mini-moon (more on that lata).  But I digress...

A word about rehearsal dinners for the people who've never been to one: 

• this is a dinner that typically follows the rehearsal for wedding ceremony;
• but nowadays it doesn't even really have to be a dinner--it could be a breakfast, a lunch, a brunch;
• and it doesn't have to be AFTER the wedding ceremony rehearsal--it can be before;
• usually all the people who are participating in the ceremony are invited to the dinner;
• and you can include out of town guests or other special people as well;
• traditionally, the groom's family hosts the dinner.

In January, I approached Ben.  My parents had already taken over much of the responsibility for the wedding reception, and I had taken over a lot of the planning, so naturally, I thought Ben could use something else to do.  A special task that he could get involved in.  Enter, rehearsal dinner.  

Now, about five years ago, Ben's brother got married and they had a rehearsal dinner.  I didn't attend, but Ben seemed to really like it. Ben's family hosted it at their house, and they have a HUGE yard, and there was BBQ, and there was supposed to be a bonfire. But my brother-in-law's wedding happened to fall on the weekend that a hurricane blew into town.  So I don't think there was a bonfire.  For our dinner, Ben really wanted to recreate the same feel.  And I liked that idea too.  So the next step was to go...on Pinterest, and create an inspiration board.  This is what we do now.  This is how we do things.  Note:  I have not been on Pinterest since June 13, 2013.  

My board for the rehearsal dinner consisted of pictures like this:  

And this:

And this!

After all the pictures were collected, I hit "send" and emailed them to Ben's mom.  Before I dive into the real rehearsal dinner, I want to say that the best thing about this dinner was that I didn't have to plan anything for it.  Yes, it was great to see family members. And yes, it was really nice to see my Pinterest pictures jump off the page and scream "We're here! We're really here!"  But by the time the day before the wedding arrived, I was just so thankful to Jesus that I didn't have to do one single thing for this dinner, except invite people.  Thank you God for in-laws and casual pre-wedding gatherings.  

OK so I bring to you a brief look at our rehearsal dinner!  Ben really wanted an outdoor, casual, barbecue picnic.  I wanted the Pinterest board.  And oui la`! 

The tent in the Ashman yard

Inside the Tent

Flowers by my sister-in-law, Crystal

Beauti-mous!  And so perfect.  This is the "eating tent."  You can see there's the checkerboard picnic table cloth and there are pots on the table with flowers grown by Ben's mom and niece.  As Sean Kingston would say, my "face dropped" when I walked in and saw what Ben's family had done with this tent. 

Picture taken by Sydney

Near the eating tent, my brother-in-law and his wife loaned us the same tent that they used for food during their rehearsal dinner, and it worked perfectly.  Piles and piles of barbecue, and corn bread that made probably everyone "slap their mommas" sat on this table.  

Picture taken by Sydney

 

Before the people arrived

Here is one of the drink sections.  We also had bins and bins of beer (don't judge us; we like to party). But the cool thing about this table, if you can see it, is there are a bunch of mason jars with straws attached to them.  

I found this on Pinterest

Like Pinterest!  OK I promise, that's it.  But Ben's brother MADE these.  I'm so happy that the wedding is over so that now Ben and I will have more time to make awesome things, like THIS.  

And the most important part of the dinner:  the people!

 

 





 

There was also a bonfire and lots of kids running around and tons of laughter and S'mores and cornbread and parents and jars and...wow I need to calm down!   We have lots more pictures to share of this event.  But in all of them you'll see what Ben and I already knew:

• That Ben's family, my in-law family, really dedicated a lot of themselves to making this event the great dinner that it was.  Seriously, I don't know one person who had a bad time;
• That Pinterest dreams DO come true; and
• That Ben's family is God sent because if Ben and I had to plan this rehearsal dinner, there's a good chance it would have been at Pizza Hut.  Wait...do people even go to Pizza Hut anymore?  We don't, so I don't know why I said that.  If Ben and I had to plan the rehearsal dinner it would have been at the park near our apartment.  And it would have been BYOF, as in bring your own food.  But there probably would have been mason jars, because those are pretty cheap.  But they wouldn't have had straws.  Or ice.