Ring in the New Year

I got to be a part of something super cool on Jan. 1: the engagement of one of my very best friends!  

Needing Nature

My job is awesome because it offers basically FREE onsite fitness classes to all the employees. “Basically FREE” means that each class costs one dollar.  And that dollar doesn’t actually go toward paying the instructors.  It goes into a glass box filled with other dollars. And those dollars are raffled off at the end of the month to the employee who essentially attended the most fitness classes.  The location of the classes and the idea that someone might PAY ME to get in shape pretty much eliminated most of my excuses for refusing to exercise--money, distance to the class, time. So now, I’m back to doing yoga! Yay. And just because these classes are free and at work does not mean that my yoga teacher isn’t legit.  We’re working on headstands, OK?!

One of the things I learned about myself during the meditation part of class is that when the teacher tells us to “imagine our paradise” or whatever, I always see myself walking through nature with Ben. Our hikes and trips to National Parks and overseas parks are some of my favorite memories.

On a hike through Glacier National Park

A Good Year

I have to make a selfish statement:  2016 was not a bad year, for me.  I say “selfish” because I wasn’t that happy to see it end, like so many others seemed to be. I was honestly a little sad.  My 2016 started and ended with a great bottle of champagne and a little party with my very best friends in life. The year started and ending about the same actually, but fortunately, there were a few differences.

First Day of 2016

I started 2016 reeling from my miscarriage and recovering the sanity I lost from having arguments with my insurance company over not being covered for some services, thanks to some "coordination of benefits" bullshit.

I started 2016 with one ovary on my left side. And surprisingly and thankfully, this ovary did not have a very large cyst just hanging out on top, plotting to twist the life out of it so it could join it's sister, "Right Side Ovary" in the grave of dead organs.  

I started 2016 in a job that was no longer bringing me joy, some days feeling undervalued and just plain bored.

At the beginning of 2016 I was given instructions to hold off on trying for another baby, and then given instructions on when to show up for the first treatment of my kidney’s acute rejection episode, likely caused by my failed pregnancy.

But by some miracle of heaven and all that is magical in this world, I ended 2016 in a completely different and GOOD place.

Spooky Tales: That Time When I Didn't Have Insurance

A little over a month ago, I quit a job that I'd had for the last seven seven years.  And in the process, I gave up the insurance plan that I'd have for about that same amount of time. 

I had officially transferred into the the bleak and horrifying world of the...

UNINSURED.**

Image from Scoopnext via Huffington Post

Just Us for For Now

"Is there a word for adults when they aren't parents?"

Steppa laughs.  "Folks with other things to do?"

"Like what things?"

"Jobs, I guess.  Friends. Trips.  Hobbies."

--from "Room"

Today, I confessed an embarrassing concern I'd had to a friend.  

After my miscarriage, I'd worried that Ben and I would grow bored with each other if, down the line, it ended up being just the two of us...forever. I told her I know that's ridiculous but almost a year ago (can you believe it) I had a thought one day-- that if Ben and I didn't have children, we'd have nothing to talk about from that point on.  I think I was concerned about this because having kids was just the next step in our plan, and we'd spent so long talking about it that it seemed unlikely that we'd ever find anything worthwhile to do, or talk about, again.

Many people, mostly parents actually, have assured me that this is an INSANE worry to have.