Love in the Time of Transplant: Just Us for For Now

"Is there a word for adults when they aren't parents?"

Steppa laughs. "Folks with other things to do?"

"Like what things?"

"Jobs, I guess. Friends. Trips. Hobbies."

--from "Room"

Today, I confessed an embarrassing concern I'd had to a friend.

After my miscarriage, I'd worried that Ben and I would grow bored with each other if, down the line, it ended up being just the two of us...forever. I told her I know that's ridiculous but almost a year ago (can you believe it) I had a thought one day-- that if Ben and I didn't have children, we'd have nothing to talk about from that point on. I think I was concerned about this because having kids was just the next step in our plan, and we'd spent so long talking about it that it seemed unlikely that we'd ever find anything worthwhile to do, or talk about, again.

Many people, mostly parents actually, have assured me that this is an INSANE worry to have.

We just came back from a ten-day long vacation, just the two of us, no friends and no family. On this trip it became very apparent to me that after 11 years together, we still haven't run out of things to do together or talk about.

I told Ben that I think one of the reasons our relationship works is the fact that we continue doing fun things together. And not just the same fun things we did when we were 18, like ordering from the Dollar Menu twice a day and watching National Treasure on repeat in his parents' living room. However, I would still watch the s&*t out of that movie...with a small fry on in hand. Just kidding. I lied. I'd have a large fry.

Naturally, as we get older and see more of the world, meet new people, we'll find new fun things to do together. Every day I think of something we could explore or learn more about, either the next day or the near future. Then I wonder, how could I have ever been so stupid to worry that Ben and I would run out of things to do or say to each other absent a screaming toddler.

The other night, the day after vacation we started prepping for our returns to work. My outlook turned toward the weekend, already.

"So, what do you think we'll do over the weekend?" I asked Ben, hoping he'd help me strategically plan out our first free days post-vacay.

Ben's response: "I guess whatever we want." I silently nodded in agreement and thought, he's right. We can do whatever we want, just the two of us, forever, if we want.

Here are a few pictures of our very recent trip to L.A., and Sequoia and Yosemite National Parks.