That One Time I Missed Most of March Because of White Blood Cells

Oh Haaaaaaaay.  How has your March been?  Pleasant?  A bit cold? A bit boring?  Have you been sick for the past two weeks?  Have you been thinking, 'Oh maybe I just won't get better until April and will have an excuse to take the rest of the month of March off'?  No?  Really?! How bout that.

Well, I'm back to the world people.  I'm finally remembering what it's like to not lay in bed 24 hours a day.  I enjoy the taste of food again.  I enjoy fresh air and sitting in a clean apartment, sleeping on clean sheets, not worrying about how many additional viruses are burrowing their way into the mattress while I breathed hot, infected air into my pillow.  I am alive. I am not a zombie. I am real and I am on my way to healing.

If you came to this blog in the past two weeks, you probably saw nothing.  Nothing good anyways.  It's true.  I've been sick for two weeks.  And let me tell you:  I ain't felt death that near since this time last year when I was gearing up to start dialysis treatments.  And I wanted it. I wanted it so bad. I wanted to go home and be with Jesus.  Dance with the angels and break thermometers because I knew I would never need them again.  That's how sick I felt.  

Why and how in the world did I end up like this?  Well, you can thank my kidney transplant for that. I'm sort of joking but sort of not because it is kind of sort of relevant to how all of this happened.  

Remember when I told you that now, with my kidney transplant, I was going to have to take medicine for the rest of my life?  Those medicines are called immunosuppresants.  In case you missed biology (don't worry; pretty sure I slept through 80 percent of it) your immune system is what keeps you healthy.  It's [hopefully] made up of a bunch of white blood cells who's purpose in life is attack foreign objects and bacteria that make their way into your body.  Usually those foreign bacteria (stuff not made by you), can make you really sick if they're not dealt with correctly.  So most normal people have a good army of white blood cells who fight off these things and keep you from having to take any sick days, in case you were wondering why you never get a cough every once in a while.  I'm sorry, but this is probably it.

White blood cells are good for stuff like head colds and the flu.  But bad for stuff like organ transplants.  Because even though my kidney transplant is good for me and keeps me alive, it's still foreign.  So according to my WBCs, it needs to go.  And this is why, I take immunosuppressants:  to keep my WBCs from building up their army, so that they can't call out my kidney for being a foreign object.   The results:  my dad's kidney gets to live in my body as a spy forever, working alongside my natural organs....but I also am more at risk for contracting things like CMV. 

Cytomegalovirus.  In a nutshell, you probably have it because apparently 90 percent of the population gets it at one point in their life.  It just doesn't make everyone want to die because most people are healthy.  

For the rest of us--the 10 percent who randomly never got the virus and the immunosuppressed--when we are infected by this nearly harmless virus...it can make us feel like solid S&#T until we get treated for it.  

So, now I present to you:  five things I wouldn't wish upon anyone:

1.  Diarrhea.  

2.  Pain in your eyeballs so bad that you start to wonder if you have a brain tumor and regret that time when you didn't wash your hands for exactly 20 seconds before putting a new pair of contact lenses on.

3.  This weird thing in the upper middle part of your abdomen that makes you cry when you walk and also makes you think you have an ulcer and/or cancer according to WebMD.

4.  Sleeping for 24 hours.  Unless you're into that sort of thing, which I am only SORT OF into that type of thing. I love sleeping, but I don't love worrying about getting a blood clot that's going to travel to my heart and I won't know about until I'm on the plane to Greece.

5.  Cats who clearly don't understand "Noooo I DON'T want to get up!" when you're lying in your bed face down for the 15th hour in a row.  They seem to think: maybe I'll just meow LOUDER and then the human will move.  It doesn't work like that, cat.

I am finally starting to feel better people.  I'm eating again.  I went to the gym. I'm staying up late again.  Ben and I hugged for the first time a few days ago.  Things are looking up.   

 

 

UPDATE update

This is what's been going on in my life since we last talked.

I'm confident that I'll be back to 110 percent health before the month ends.

Or before ACTUAL spring weather arrives.

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day.

 

March Madness

I'm in Vegas.

Starting March 10 11

join me here on the blog to celebrate

National Kidney Month

UPDATE: I've been sidelined for the past couple of days due to a fever and stomach issues.  I hope hope HOPE to have a finished post up tomorrow. 

Stay well, peeps.

We Got Married: Could, woulda, shoulda

I've mentioned before that I didn't hire a wedding planner.  Ben and I planned our wedding completely on our own, partly because we had a really tight budget, and also because we've known people who have planned incredibly beautiful weddings without professional help.  I've recounted the many trials I had trying to make decisions, get things done, and stay within my budget and also the many victories that we celebrated during the planning process and on the wedding day.  But you know what...I'll be honest, not EVERYTHING was perfect.

FACT:  the most important part, and BEST PART, of the wedding day was actually marrying Ben and saying our vows to each other in front of all the people we love and care about.

FACT:  many of the details that were at our wedding most likely faded out of many of our guests' memories as soon as the sun rose on the day after our big party.

FACT:  I am one of those brides who says "not everything was perfect," and that's OK.  

I've had about eight months to think about it and look at pictures over and over again, and I can now think back on my wedding day and really look what I would have done differently had I known better.  Now, I don't want to get too critical.  I'm just going to point out the main things, the ones that have stuck in my mind since the wedding ended, and even since before the wedding happened.

Looking back, I coulda, woulda, shoulda:

• put more thought into what I wanted the ceremony programs to look like.  My family and I hand made them, and Ben wrote "Ben and Jewel's" wedding on them. And that's what we passed out.  This is really a tiny issue because honestly, I don't think anyone cared.  I barely even care.  But when I think about what I could have done, this is the first thing that comes to my mind.
• started saving for my wedding earlier.  Overall, I'm really happy with the amount of money we spent on our wedding.  At the end of the day, Ben and I spent 15 percent less than the average cost of a DC wedding for 100 people AND we paid for 180 guests.  We paid for half our wedding out of our own pockets. Which apparently is still rare?  Apparently, people still take that whole "the bride's family pays" thing to heart.  Which, in my opinion, doesn't make any sense.  But anyways, the point is, our wedding wasn't expensive by comparison.  But, it would have been nice to pay for our wedding, and  still have some money left over to start saving for another big purchase, like a house.  We've had to start from square one on that. 
• started my DIY projects earlier.  I didn't have many but the few that I did have, I felt like I was rushing to get them done.  During wedding planning, there were a few times where it felt like there was nothing to accomplish really, mostly in the early stages.  Those would have been great times to get a head start on some crafting/printing items, instead of going batS&#t crazy during the last three weeks leading up to the day.
• purchased Ben's suit at a different retailer.  While the final product came out great, I feel like we could have alleviated some of the stress of getting Ben into the perfect suit by just finding another store/designer who could have given us exactly what we wanted exactly when we asked for it, even if it meant paying more money for something a little more high end.
• overrode Ben's choice for the last dance song (The Reason, by Hoobastank).  
• ordered more bouts.  I think I was short about one or two for the men!
• vetted some of my vendors a bit more before hiring them.  Sometimes, my desire to just get things done hinders my ability to determine if something or someone is really the right fit for me.
• ordered a wedding album with my photography package.  Now that I have my wedding pictures, I really just wish I could look at them in a book.  And looking back, why didn't I just order the album?  Yes, there is the sticker shock that comes with comparing the prices of a photography package with an album and one with out.  And during planning I felt like I just couldn't commit any more dollars to that area of the wedding.  But when you factor in the overall cost of everything, is an extra grand really that big of a deal?  I should have figured out a way to shrink costs in other places, even though I really did have the bare minimum in just about every category.

So there you have it.  Those are the top things that I regret/want a do-over on/would change if I could go back in time.  The next wedding I have will hopefully be a vow renewal, and of course not nearly as big.  In fact, it'll probably be in Disney World actually. So maybe I won't have to deal with any of these issues. 

OK enough about regrets.  To end this series on a happy note,  

5 things I would not change about my wedding day and the planning experience:

1. The number of people I invited.  I complained throughout about the cost of having a big wedding, but in the end, it was awesome and fun. I'm a fan of big weddings.
2. The length of time for the open bar.  I thought people would think we were lame for closing the bar during dinner and then opening it up again, then closing it an hour before the reception was over.  It actually worked out fine. I didn't hear any complaints from people.
3. The amount we spent on flowers.  BIGGEST LESSON LEARNED:  real, live flowers are EXPENSIVE.  EX-PENSIVE.  I'm glad I stuck to my guns and my budget, and most importantly found a really great flower vendor to work with.  That goes a loooong way.
4. Choosing to skip fancy transportation.  We saved so much money by just having everyone drive themselves.  
5. Not hiring a wedding videographer.  While planning my wedding, I'd read a couple things about people really regretting their decision to not hire a wedding videographer. Ben's and my budget, didn't allow us the luxury of hiring one.  And this made me sad.  So I prepared myself for the regret and the disappointment in the months following our wedding, when I'd kick myself over and over again for not biting the bullet and blowing some more savings to get a fancy schmancy wedding video.  Well, Ben and I have been married for eight months now. And guess what, I haven't even thought about having a wedding video until now, as I'm writing this blog post. And I'm not even sure I care.  In the past eight months, I have never said "Oh, I wish I could watch a video of my wedding."  

And that's all folks.  I am officially closing the chapter on documenting my wedding.  I just want to say that I love you readers so much.  Thanks for going on this journey with me and letting me talk about "first world problems" like dessert bars and color palettes.  Unless any of you send me specific questions about aspects of my wedding, you probably won't see another post on the big day.  And I'm OK with that. I've realized that my wedding was definitely a great day, up there with some of my best days.  The good news is that since that day ended, I've had several other "best days" come to pass.  And I'm thankful for that.  The wedding is just one day.  A marriage is forever.  And so far, "forever" is pretty awesome.

 

We Got Married-- Seeing Each Other Before the Ceremony

 Welcome to post #3 of the wedding series!  Read on to find out what Ben and I thought about doing a "first look," meeting up to see each other BEFORE the wedding ceremony AND the impact that it's had on our marriage.  Oooo...this is gonna be good.

JEWEL:  What did you think about the idea of doing a first look before we actually did it?

BEN:  I didn’t even know it was a thing that people did. I thought there was just the traditional “you don’t see the bride.” That’s what’s always in the movies. That’s what I saw growing up.  I didn’t know the first look was a thing until I heard it from Vicki, our photographer.  

I would say it was the same for me except since I had been doing research on wedding photography from the very beginning of our engagement, I knew that people did first looks.  So, when Vicki, first suggested that we see each other before the wedding, what was your initial thought and reaction to it?

That’s not what you’re supposed to do!  But she really sold it, you know?  When she actually dove into why it really made a lot of sense, it seemed like something I could get down with.  

I just remember her saying that it would be a really great way to get pictures of us together before the wedding and that it would also cut down on the time that we were doing pictures after the wedding.

I wasn’t so much worried about the time, but one thing she did say, stuck with me. And that was that it’s very difficult to capture the expression on the groom’s face or both the bride’s and the groom’s faces during the big reveal.  A) Because they’re 40 yards apart and B) because they’re in a room full of their peers.  The only way to get that honest reaction is to isolate them and have a private reveal.

JEWEL:  I think I definitely wanted to do it because it seemed like a great time to spend time together before the wedding. If you remember,  we weren’t really together by ourselves after that.   We came together and took our pictures, but then we were around the bridal party, then it was the ceremony and the family pictures.  And then it was the reception. And we did sit by ourselves, but you know the first look was actually one of the few times or the only times that we spent any time together.  

BEN:  That and the wedding night.

Um. Ok. So when you first saw me what was your reaction?

I wasn’t really thinking anything.  I just kind of turned around and there you were all dolled up.  And it was nice. It was a really nice feeling.  There was sort of that moment of realization that, yes,  you got dressed up and, yes,  you woke up and all your buddies were there and you have a purpose in mind.  But it actually doesn’t strike you that it’s your wedding day until you see your fiancé, your bride.

When I first saw you I had a similar reaction.  I wasn’t really thinking anything.

But yeah I can wear a suit any day of the week.  But you don’t exactly see a woman wearing a wedding dress every day.  

That’s true.  And if I was thinking anything it was “Oh! Ben looks nice!”  If I was thinking any thoughts it was probably that.  And I also remember being actually, kind of nervous. I remember being kind of bubbly.

I might have been nervous for a couple of seconds when I was walking there. And I remember feeling hot and sweaty. And there was the back-to-back position we stood in, and your dress felt weird. And I was like, this is scratchy! How is she putting up with this?!  Because your poof was pressed up against my legs! There were a couple of brief moments of nerves.  But to have those out before the ceremony actually made the ceremony a more enjoyable experience.

Yeah, I’d say so, too.

I knew what to expect. And that’s that you weren’t going to come down the aisle a hot mess.  I wasn’t nervous. Everything was good.

JEWEL:  What impact do you feel like us seeing each other before the wedding had on the ceremony?

BEN:  I wouldn’t say that at any moment I was nerve-wrecked.  But if there were any nerves, the first look helped make everything a more enjoyable experience.  I wasn’t worried about anything.  I was pretty sure you were going to show up.

Pretty sure? Hmm.

Because you don’t want to waste money.  But yeah, it just made everything go smoothly. I was happy to get our pictures done before the second round with all the family.  

For the ceremony, I still felt nervous.  But it was mostly about walking down the aisle and seeing you, and I didn’t want to look you straight in the eye, even though we had just seen each other.  But for me, the first look didn’t really change anything. I was still really happy to see you and get married and I feel like the first look made me a little more relaxed during the ceremony.  Maybe even too relaxed?

Had you been drinking?

No!  I guess at the ceremony I felt like it was just you and me standing up there even though there were all these people around us.

I don’t know if the first look caused that.  I think it probably helped you get rid of any remaining nerves about us being up there together, though. And as far you being nervous about falling all over yourself and being worried about that, well that’s just, you know, your own personal issues.

JEWEL:  There is the tradition that says it’s  bad luck to see the bride on the wedding day, before the ceremony takes place.  Have you seen any signs of bad luck?

BEN:  Cats are bad luck.

Cats ARE bad luck.

I’m not that superstitious, so I’m really not worried about that.  The tradition was just somebody who once said the bride and groom shouldn’t see each other because that will make it more special. And that just kind of evolved into the modern day tradition. And that’s fine.  It’s special in its own way.  But it can also be special an hour or two earlier.

I haven’t really seen any signs that we’re headed for doom in our marriage because we saw each other before the wedding.

No, the doom is for other reasons. Not because of that.