Hydrated Yet?

Happy Belated Love Day, Y'all! 

Did you have a good Valentine's Day?!  Did you make out with your honey, or make dinner for him or her? Did you have a rom-com night with your girlfriends?   Did you eat too much chocolate?  Just kidding.  There's no such thing as "too much chocolate." 

But hey, if you do feel like you ate too much chocolate and drank a bit too much booze or bubbly, a good way to get back on track is by drinking two liters of water today. Yeah?  Yeah.

I just wanted to check in with y'all to see how your water challenge is coming along, if you did decide to take it on when I introduced it a month ago.  The goal is to drink two liters of water, juice or tea per day, not counting coffee or soda.  The goal is to do this and improve your hydration levels, cut down on your caffeine and sugary drink intake, and to be more mindful of what and how much you drink during the day.

If you've been doing the challenge since I first talked about it, GREAT JOB!  Your body probably thanks you.  And if you've decided to start now, good luck!  You can do it, and I know you'll feel great from here on out. 

In other news: I officially turned 27 on Friday, and celebrated in the District on Friday AND Saturday.  As in, I stayed out past midnight both nights and ended up sleeping until about noon on Saturday and Sunday.  Yeah, I'm 27.  But I still got it.  I can still turn up.

Happy President's Day!

Last Day of 26

Last year, before turning 26 I wrote a post about what I'd learned while experiencing life as a 25-year-old.  I loved writing it and sharing my thoughts with you, so I decided to write another one! Enjoy, and, as always, thanks, for reading.

One of my favorite people in the world is Oprah.  Shocking, right? Since she's probably the favorite person of no less than 199 million people.  Oprah's column that she writes in O magazine, "What I Know For Sure" inspires me over and over again. And it prompts me to ask myself what do I know for sure to be true in my own life.  And, I may be on my own here, but I don't take this question lightly.  I don't consider answering it with a dismissive, playful reply about how I surely know I don't want to go to work tomorrow! 

No.

Since my 24th birthday, I've been grappling with the idea of what it means to be an adult and who I am as "adult Jewel." And since I'm still coming into adulthood, at the not-old age of 27 starting tomorrow, I'd say I'll probably be tweaking that image of "my adulthood" for a least a little while more. But it's such a relief to know that with every year that passes, even though I'm getting older (which I don't seem to hate as much as other people), I get even closer to learning what I know for sure, and finally being OK with it.  

To me, that's adulthood.  Knowing who you are, owning who you are.  As my adult role model, Beyonce says:  "I'm a grown woman.  I can do whatever I want."  Getting there, most definitely. 

At the end of 26, what I know for sure:

• I'm not a morning person.  I like the idea of mornings.  I like the idea of waking up early enough to watch the sun gracefully lift itself into the sky.  I like the idea of putting on a cup of coffee, eating that breakfast with flax and oats and fruit, doing sun salutations to some gentle acoustic indie songstress, and then praying, reading, writing, singing, dancing, rejoicing, all for like two hours before you actually have to get s&*% done.  I LOVE that idea.  That IDEA, sounds and looks glorious, in my mind.  But that is not me. Nope.  I've been trying for 27 years to be a morning person, and it hasn't happened yet because while I love the idea of mornings, I don't enjoy ACTUAL mornings that begin before 10/10:30 AM.  However, coming up on 27, I am mature enough to acknowledge that I do not have enough time in my day to do everything I want to do.  Waking up an extra hour earlier, would help me be more productive.  So I've been working on that.  I'm not trying to become a morning person.  I will forever dislike mornings, probably.  I'm just trying to adjust my schedule.
• There's nothing wrong with not "doing what you love."  It was actually Oprah, during her series finale, who told me that you have to find your passion and pursue it.  But it may be not your rent-payer or bill-payer. You may have to "do what you love"  part-time, or for free, or after work, or before work. I happen to love writing on this blog.  Ask me how much I get paid to do it.
• Saving money, feels a lot better than spending money.  After a year where money was flying left and right to pay for the wedding, it's so great to see the dollar value rise instead of diminish on a bank account.
• FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is all in your mind.   I mentioned last year that I was mostly over social media, for a few reasons.  It's kind of boring, none of my REAL friends even contact me on social media, and yeah, it made me feel bad about myself sometimes. Yeah, I'll say it--sometimes going on Facebook made me feel like s&%T!  Since then I've cut down my Facebook usage (the only social media platform I use) to less than one hour per week, and I am much happier.  If you feel like you're struggling with comparison or FOMO, here is the key:  stop looking at what everyone else is doing.  Worry about yourself.  Focus on what you're doing and the people who are really in your life.  Your spouse.  Your children. Your siblings.  Your "real" friends--the ones you would CALL or TEXT if something wonderful or awful happened.  Don't focus on the ones who would only find out because of a status update.  And if for one second you feel that your life is so boring that you have to scroll through other people's profiles to get you to the next exciting point in your life, turn on the TV.  Seriously.  There's a lot of great stuff on there these days.  Even  "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" is way more thrilling than any of the stuff I've seen on Facebook.  And they're rich so...at least you'd get to look at nice cars and clothes.  And on that note...
• What God has for me, is for me.  At 27, I finally understand why I don't want someone else's blessing. 
• Not gonna elaborate, but six months ago there were a few specific aspects of my personality that I felt were more like obstacles to helping me reach a really important goal.  Now, after months of 1) trying to adopt pieces of other people's personalities; 2) making some progress in reaching my goal because I did that;  and 3) feeling frustrated because I wasn't being all the way true to myself, I've realized that I actually like those aspects of my personality that I wished weren't there.  And I learned that I didn't need to change my personality, but instead, I need to change my perspective on life and people. 
• Ben and I, our marriage is just that--ours.  What God has for us, is for us.
• I don't feel bad about skipping out on small talk.  I'm over talking about the weather, honestly.  If it's winter, it's gonna be cold.  Unless there's a blizzard, I don't want to hear about how it's cold again today...in winter.  Same goes for summer.  I could not care less about how humid you think it is.  We live in Virginia. 
 

And with that, here's to the late 20s.  Thank God I'm here.

Does this mean I officially have three years to get my s&*t together?  Hmm.

We Got Married: Music to My Ears

Selecting the playlist for our DJ and our set of songs for the wedding ceremony was truly a labor of love.  Ben and I felt that the music was going to either make or break the wedding day.  So we chose each song carefully, strategically avoiding most of those "HERE'S WHAT YOU SHOULD PLAY AT YOUR WEDDING" lists.  Not that there's anything wrong with those lists! But we didn't want to consult them too much.  I guess this was our way of putting a little originality into the wedding since I am lacking in the crafting and DIY project area.  

All of these songs are my favorite songs! I loved the song that I walked down the aisle to. I went with this lesser known "Twilight" song after leaning heavily toward picking Christina Perry's amazing "1000 Years."   My dad and I decided to skip the sentimental father-daughter slow jam and went for, perhaps a more controversial selection:  an upbeat R. Kelly song.  And no, it's not what you think (see below)!  

And Ben and I kept it classy...soulful and classy for our first dance.  If you are alive and have been alive for more than five minutes, chances are you're familiar with Al Green's perfect ode to long-lasting love and relationships.  Picking our first dance song was the easiest decision we made.  I've been in love with "Let's Stay Together" since before I was with Ben.  Obviously, there have been a lot of love songs that have hit the radio stations since "Let's Stay Together" came out.  But what drew us to Al Green's song was the fact that it has stood the test of time. I think everyone can relate to the message.  Just look at the title of the song.  Come on?  You can't get any better than that for a first dance song on somebody's WEDDING DAY.   

Anyways, if you need a Valentine's Day playlist,  these songs will be a good start.   I hope you enjoy these selections from our wedding day. 

"Turning Page"  Sleeping At Last

walking down the aisle

"Immanuel, God with Us" Citipointe

performed by a friend, after communion

"Step in the Name of Love"  R. Kelly

father-daughter dance

"Let's Stay Together" Al Green

Our first dance :)

Things Remembered

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

~C.S. Lewis

I was staggering about in my company's "pantry," the employee lounge that's filled with free coffee and tea dispensers and rows of snacks that would rival any 7 Eleven and Whole Foods check-out counter.  I needed gluten-free chocolate chip cookies, then a pack of Gushers and of course a straw for my covered cup of hot water.  I dipped in between pairs of people standing around, talking about their days up to that point, and football. I carefully stepped in between a man and a woman--a woman who, with concern in her voice, was asking "How are you?  How was dialysis today?" 

I had already walked away from them to put my stash on my table. But I did what a very nosy Jewel would do and walked back up and stood very close to the couple, pretending to grab a pack of barbecue Pop Chips.  I pretended to grab other things too, like packets of sunflower seeds, another bag of gluten free cookies, while sneakily pulling tidbits from this man's and woman's conversation.  Like a cat, I was waiting for my time to strike, to jump in and show him our commonalities.  To show him that even though he is a middle aged, white man and I'm a young, black woman, that we share something.  We both know what it's like when our bodies fail us. We both know what it's like when someone tells you that you need something, and you don't have any control over when or how you'll get it.  

Several more "fake" trips up to the grocery aisles of my job's employee lounge, the man and woman finally end their conversation. And I take my shot.  

"I'm sorry but...did you just say you were on dialysis?"

From the moment the question left my mouth, we were engaged in such a lively conversation you would have thought we were old friends.  Anyone walking in would have said, "Wow, they seem to have a lot in common.  They must know each other well."  The truth was that I didn't know him before that day.  Yet somehow, after I asked my question and he answered, it was as if we knew a whole lot about each other.  

We exchanged disease explanations and kidney functions.  I gave him some tips on getting a donor set up as quickly as possible.  I told him about my transplant.  I told him about my doctors and my hospital.  We made plans to have lunch together.  

Ten months ago, I was walking around in that same pantry, grabbing what was probably my fifth cup of coffee for the day.  I was exhausted. I looked exhausted.  Dull. Bored.  Unhappy.  Ill.  And some might say lifeless.  And I would walk into work every day wishing that I wasn't there.  Or even wishing that someone could just just know automatically what I was going through so I wouldn't have to explain it to them.  That way I wouldn't have to answer a billion "Are you OK?" questions throughout the day.  No, I'm not OK, was what I wanted to say all the time.  But I didn't say that because, when you have a chronic illness, sometimes it's just not worth getting into with someone who might not even be able to relate.  

I hope that I was that person for my new friend from the pantry. I hope that I was the person who can relate.  The person for whom you don't have to explain everything to.  I hope that I was the person who just gets it already.  

I wonder if he knows that he was that person for me.  I'm nearly a year out of transplant and technically, I don't have kidney disease anymore.  It was still such a blessing to meet someone who just gets it without me having to explain it to him.

My new friend from work has kidney disease and is currently on dialysis.  

Like me, he needs a kidney transplant. 

 If you or anyone else you might know is interested in becoming a living donor, feel free to leave a comment on this post or email me at jeweledwardsdc@gmail.com.

We Got Married: Planning Posts Updated

I am so excited to share our wedding day with y'all!  I never thought that I would be one of those people who had a "wedding blog."  Before getting engaged and even for the first few six months or so, it all seemed just kind of silly.  People get married every day, every hour probably.  So what makes my wedding planning process so interesting and so special that it needs a blog post?  Other than the fact that it was inconveniently happening while my kidneys were failing.  It's not like I had ton of money and was planning some big wedding with champagne fountains and booking guest appearances from Mickey Mouse or Beyonce.  I WISH. 

In my first few posts on wedding planning, I talked about our desserts, our invitations, our bridesmaids dresses, and marriage counseling.  We didn't bother taking any pictures of our marriage counseling session.  So sorry, but no, you will not get to see me rolling my eyes or Ben smirking at various comments about who's the better communicator and who's better with money.  

But if you remember I told you how excited I was about our invitations!  We wanted our invitations to indicate to people that we were having a big party, not just a wedding, but a party to celebrate the culmination of a stressful year.  Our designer totally did her thang.  

Working with our invitation designer was incredibly easy.  What wasn't easy?  Bridesmaids dresses.  I told you that I tried too hard to find something that the girls would be able to wear over and over again, and also be able to purchase at the mall.  Sometimes dresses without that "bridesmaid" label on them tend to come cheaper than they would if bought at a wedding salon.  Having to hassle people about getting their bridesmaids dresses and then asking them to pay a ton of money was one of my least favorite parts of planning the wedding. However, I'm happy to say, that I was incredibly happy with the final product!

If you remember Ben and I put off a few key wardrobe elements:  the veil and his suit.  Procrastinating on these items was kind of unintentional.  I'm cheap and am not going to spend a sh&*load of money on a piece of tulle to put on top of my head.  And Ben and I weren't about to walk out of the Jos. A. Bank without a suit that didn't make him look perfect on our wedding day.  Without further ado:

And a picture of my handsome husband in the RIGHT suit!!

And a picture of my flower girl, who was basically my twin!

I haven't mastered the ability to upload a billion hi-res images onto my blog yet.  Luckily, some of Vicki's wonderful photos of our wedding were featured on The Knot for your viewing pleasure.

Stay tuned...next week's post (my favorite) is on some of the big songs we used in our wedding!