Wedding Wednesday: DIY Time and Comin' to Terms

66 Days 'Til the Wedding

Oh wow...I am getting prrrreeetttty excited about this wedding y'all.  A few months ago, if you had asked me, I would have said that I didn't want the wedding to come up soon, only because it felt like I had so much planning to do.  Now that we're nearly 60 days away from the wedding, I still have a ton of planning to do but I kind of don't care! I'm just excited to see family members I haven't seen in a while. And hopefully friends I haven't seen in a while too.  And I'm excited to just be married and stop saying things like "Oh, I can't wait until we're married!" Anyhoo, the weekly breakdown. 

What We Did:

• We submitted our playlists. After a year of collecting songs that we liked, we still ended up doing most of the song-picking in a few hour long listening sessions during the last week of March.  I'll admit, I'm kind of nervous, to hear what our DJ thinks.  He just seems soooo cool and like he likes a lot of cool music. And we hired him because we liked how cool he is, and we think we're sort of cool too.  But what if we're not really?!  What if we're lame and our music choices are lame?! I've already decided that I'm dancing no matter what. Even if no one else does.
• I tried on veils. I know, I KNOW. We are getting down to the wire. But you know, something is just holding me up. I think it's the fact that there are real, living, breathing human beings out there who think I should pay $200 for a long sheet of tulle connected to a comb.  I think that's what's been keeping me from pulling the trigger. I swear it's probably just the addition of the word "wedding" onto wedding veil that jacks the prices up a full 75 percent. 
• Ben and I got serious and drew up a few wedding day timelines for our wedding party and our parents.  We figured it's about time we got them involved in the happenings up the day.

What We're Not Looking Forward Doing:

I think I mentioned this before, but over the past few weeks, Ben and I have been preparing ourselves mentally and emotionally to cancel our honeymoon.  I think I'm little more prepared than Ben though.  Here's the deal: Six months ago, Ben and I hired a honeymoon planner to help us navigate the world of Greek tourism.  This awesome planner found us two hotels to stay at, and a couple excursions and private tours that we could take during our 10 day visit to Greece.  Upon booking him, we put down a little less than half of a deposit on the honeymoon.  Next week, the rest of what we owe is DUE.    

I asked my nephrologist his serious thoughts on the issue:  with the way things are going with my health, would my nephrology team give me the thumbs up to go to Santorini for my honeymoon.  He gave me an honest "no, probably not."  On one hand, he thinks that while I've started the preparations to go on dialysis, he doesn't think I'll be experienced enough to try out my new dialysis skills in a foreign country by June.  On the other hand, he thinks that if I do get my transplant before the wedding, the transplant team would recommend that I not go overseas just yet.  He recommended that I postpone the trip. 

I cried when he told me this.  I love traveling so much. And I haven't been on a real vacation in a year.  All because I've been saving up for this honeymoon. I have a TON of vacation days saved up just for this occasion. 

But...silver lining...sort of? Maybe?  Ben and I have vacation insurance. So even if we did have to cancel what we booked of our honeymoon we would get our money back.  And I am 100% open to the idea of post-poning the honeymoon with our planner, if he'll let us. As long as I get to go, I'm good.  But Ben I can tell, has not come to terms completely with this. If it were me, I would be emailing the planner right now to let him know the situation and discussing options for how to fix it.  Ben wants to wait a few days.  He says he's still optimistic.  We have exactly ONE week for something to happen.  Basically, this week I need to AT LEAST get scheduled for a kidney transplant.   And if....IF...that happens, then I'll ask my transplant team what the chances are of me traveling after the wedding. 

A lot of things are working against us here for a Honeymoon taking place on June 17.  I've already started entertaining the idea of a minimoon somewhere on the East Coast in the U.S., or even here in D.C.  United With Love, a popular D.C. wedding blog is offering a giveaway for a free "minimoon" at the Mandarin Oriental.  I've only been there once, for a conference. And let me tell you: the lobby is pretty swanky. I'd love to see what the actual rooms look like.  

But I really admire Ben's optimism.  It reminds me that while a situation may seem impossible for us, there's also a higher power in control. It would be pretty awesome to look back on this time after the wedding, recalling everything that's happened--all the negative health reports and recommendations to postpone the honeymoon--and say "But God...But God, had something else in mind. Something better, in spite of everything."  I'm still hoping...

Other Things on Our Radar:

• We received the first set of materials for a sign DIY we're doing.  So we might get started on that this weekend.
• We have to finally purchase our wedding bands this weekend.
• I'm buying a veil. That is all.

Living for the Weekends-- Spring to Life

Despite, hobbling around for most of the weekend, and still hunched over in a little bit of pain following the catheter placement, it was a pretty good weekend. For one, it was the first real Spring Weekend, where we just had nice weather all the way around.  And second, I got to spend quality time with my family and fiance.  I'm really happy that I felt good enough to start walking around more.  Also, huge plus, it dawned on me that I haven't felt as fatigued!  Yeah, I haven't taken a two hour nap in a while! Some highlights:

• I took Danyelle to Krispy Kreme on Saturday following another dialysis appointment.  
• Ben and I enjoyed a great picnic at the park where we're planning to take our wedding photos.  
• While Ben was hanging out with his friends, he dropped me off at my parents' house so they could babysit me.  There was dinner, there was laughter, and there was my purty white little dog, Lilo.  :)  

 I also talked to my dad for a long time about the family's new diet plan:  a low sodium diet!! Can you believe it?! My dad, that guy who said he would NEVER change the way he ate because his grandparents ate whatever they wanted and lived to be 99 years old.  Really, they did.  Well, there's a reason my dad changed his eating habits. I'll share more on the blog for Friday's post, and also what it's like to walk around with a tube coming out of my stomach. Not gonna lie, it is a bit uncomfortable, and I told Ben that I'm kinda already getting sick of it. But I try not to let it cramp my style.

And still am. Thank goodness. 



 

Tube-in-my-Stomach UPDATE

Originally, I was going to post a video I made of myself on my iPhone a few hours after the surgery.  Naturally, since it's technology, something went wrong and I wasn't able to upload it to the blog for today's post.  In case I don't get to upload it later, the gist is that the surgery went well. They gave me Valium.  I think they also gave me the Michael Jackson drug.  So I was OUT.  I spent the rest of the day/night resting up in bed, with moderate soreness. 

Everybody told me day two would be worse. And everybody was right.  

The good news is that I'm writing this at the end of day two and I'm regaining a lot of my mobility.  My stomach still HURTS, and I can't believe I let someone cut into it in two different places. Of all the surgeries to get, I feel like stomach surgery is one of the worst.  EVERYTHING is connected to your core muscles-- laughing, peeing, hell, even walking is.  So it's been a bit rough. But I'm making it.  

Serious shout out to the great doctors at Healthqare.  I was really nervous before the procedure but they were super nice and made me feel really comfortable.  And that place is serving some seriously good Apple Juice. For real!!  Why do the hospitals have all the good food?? 

Also, thanks to my baby sister, Danyelle, who I don't write about that much on the blog because we don't have the same blood type so she's not relevant to the conversation.  JUUUSSSST KIDDDDING!  She is relevant, and one of the most generous people I know.  Thanks to her for driving me to my doctor's appointment on Friday. 

And finally...goes without saying, thanks to Ben.  You know how I feel about you.  And no words I write on this blog will ever be able to convey it.  

Ben and I engulfed in daytime trash TV before the surgery.

Wedding Wednesday: Go DJ

73 Days 'Til the Wedding

Today, is a special Wedding Wednesday post. For one, I'm off work today because I'm having my catheter placement surgery this afternoon.  Ben also took the day off with me to be my caretaker and make me smoothies and rub my head.  Love him.  And second, this post is allll about the music!  

It's time for Ben and me to submit our playlist for the wedding!  Now, here's what I think, and this is just my opinion, which is obvious since it's my blog. Music can make or break a wedding. I've been a wedding guest maybe five or six times. My takeaway and advice for anyone else who wants advice on planning a wedding:  people will forgive you if you don't have real flowers (seriously, who cares?) and the food only has to be so-so (people rave about the food at their favorite restaurants, not at weddings).  But what people WILL remember is if the music was good, if they could dance to it, or if the DJ seemed to be stuck in a slow, jazzy mood, or if he played random duds.  People also remember if there was no music at all (yeah, I've been to a wedding like that).  Honestly, that's what I feel determines whether a wedding is fun or not. Which is why our DJ was the SECOND vendor we booked.  My requirements: someone who could play different styles; someone who would play hip hop and soul; someone who's DJ'd at clubs or bars.  My sisters and I love dancing and I've already practiced doing the robot in my wedding dress.  And after my surgery, I bet I'll either be sleeping, watching television, or having a dance party in my bed with my Beats by Dre (Thanks Boo!).  Join me in celebrating (?) a plastic tube coming out of my stomach with a little Wedding Mix dance party to some of the jams Ben and I have chosen for the wedding :)

People will be mingling and talking...and drinking.  Kendrick Lamar is one of my favorite hip hop artists, and I thought his "Swimming Pools" would be the perfect way to get the party started a little as people start to get a little tipsy. 

Now see, this is why I needed a DJ who could play different styles and make it not seem crazy.  Ben's pick from the Proclaimers, "I'm Gonna Be," is one of the songs he put on a mixtape for me.  I'll admit, I do love this song.  

I discovered Jazzanova when I was in college, during my "I don't really need to listen to music with a lot of words" phase.  Jazzanova was one of the few groups that managed to stick with me once I grew out of that.  I thought their "Behold These Days" would be the perfect dinner music, without giving off too much of a "smooth jazz feel."

Now Ben and I have been working pretty hard on the actual "dancing" part of the playlist.  We want to make sure we get everything we want on the playlist and we hope that our talented DJ can fill in the gaps.  But one thing we all agreed on--there needs to be a ton of Michael Jackson songs on the list.  A few birthdays ago, Ben purchased "Michael Jackson the Experience" for me.  And then one day, while playing, he scored hire than me on one of the dances.  In fact, he kept the high score for a while! I was so upset that I practiced for 8 hours one weekend, just to beat his score. And finally, I can say that I AM the reigning queen of "Smooth Criminal" in the Edwards/Ashman household.  What can I say? I'm bad.

Donate Life Month: A Thank-You

You may not have saved a lot of money in your life, but if you have saved a lot of heartaches for other folks, you are a pretty rich man.  ~Seth Parker

Dear Donor,

So guess what this month is?  It's Donate Life Month.  Donate Life Month is a special time set aside for people who made the commitment to give of themselves so that someone else could survive and thrive.  These people may have given blood, kidneys, portions of their liver, or bone marrow.  They may know the person who received their donation.  Many do not.  Some are no longer here with us.

Donors, and aspiring donors, I hope you can understand the power that you possess--the power to preserve, to give life, to help, not knowing of or expecting anything to be reciprocated.  What you possess is true compassion, true selflessness, and a true heart for other people.  Your donations are unmatched to what you could possibly give, ever.  

Thank you for being such a blessing.  

***

Since I was first diagnosed with kidney disease, I have been overwhelmed with the number of people who have come forward offering to donate their kidney to me.  I would love to list all of your names but then again I run the risk of missing someone. Which would not be cool :) 

But I will say that many of you have volunteered your blood types (O+ people, what's up?!).  Some of you have offered to find out your blood type :)  Some of you are my family members.  Some, my future family members. Some of you I've known since high school.  Others, I only met last year.  One in particular volunteered to go through a complicated plasma exchange process so that he could donate (Ben lol).   One of you has already completed the donor work up, and hasn't given up hope (Jocelyn).  Another, will hopefully find out soon if he's the one (Dad).  

My doctors have told me that most people don't have as many people lined up to donate as I do.  And I am so fortunate have more people than I can count on two hands who have offered to step up. You guys ROCK. And thank you so much. 

But I would add that even if I'm not the recipient, please consider donating something, anything to someone else.  The average wait time for a kidney right now is 5 years, because there are just not enough kidneys.  Please consider being a living donor.  You have no idea what you can do for someone.  

So I just want to say thank you to all the past, present, and future donors. We sick people need you. We love you. And we thank you for caring.

For more information on living donation, visit My Transplant Life.  

For more specific information on donating a kidney, visit National Kidney Foundation.