Welcome to post #3 of the wedding series! Read on to find out what Ben and I thought about doing a "first look," meeting up to see each other BEFORE the wedding ceremony AND the impact that it's had on our marriage. Oooo...this is gonna be good.
JEWEL:
What did you think about the idea of doing a first look before we
actually did it?
BEN: I didn’t even know it was a thing that
people did. I thought there was just the traditional “you don’t see the
bride.” That’s what’s always in the movies. That’s what I saw growing up. I didn’t know the first look was a thing
until I heard it from Vicki, our photographer.
I would say it was the same for me
except since I had been doing research on wedding photography from the very
beginning of our engagement, I knew that people did first looks. So, when Vicki, first suggested that we see
each other before the wedding, what was your initial thought and reaction to
it?
That’s not what you’re supposed to
do! But she really sold it, you
know? When she actually dove into why it really made a lot of sense, it seemed like something I could get
down with.
I just remember her saying that it
would be a really great way to get pictures of us together before the wedding
and that it would also cut down on the time that we were doing pictures after
the wedding.
I wasn’t so much worried about the
time, but one thing she did say, stuck with me. And that was that it’s very
difficult to capture the expression on the groom’s face or both the bride’s and
the groom’s faces during the big reveal.
A) Because they’re 40 yards apart and B) because they’re in a room full
of their peers. The only way to get that
honest reaction is to isolate them and have a private reveal.
JEWEL: I think I definitely wanted to do it
because it seemed like a great time to spend time together before the wedding. If
you remember, we weren’t really together
by ourselves after that. We came
together and took our pictures, but then we were around the bridal party, then
it was the ceremony and the family pictures.
And then it was the reception. And we did sit by ourselves, but you know
the first look was actually one of the few times or the only times that we
spent any time together.
BEN: That and the wedding night.
Um. Ok. So when you first saw me what
was your reaction?
I wasn’t really thinking
anything. I just kind of turned around
and there you were all dolled up. And it
was nice. It was a really nice feeling.
There was sort of that moment of realization that, yes, you got dressed up and, yes, you woke up and all your buddies were there
and you have a purpose in mind. But it
actually doesn’t strike you that it’s your wedding day until you see your fiancé,
your bride.
When I first saw you I had a similar
reaction. I wasn’t really thinking
anything.
But yeah I can wear a suit any day of
the week. But you don’t exactly see a
woman wearing a wedding dress every day.
That’s true. And if I was thinking anything it was “Oh!
Ben looks nice!” If I was thinking any
thoughts it was probably that. And I
also remember being actually, kind of nervous. I remember being kind of bubbly.
I might have been nervous for a couple
of seconds when I was walking there. And I remember feeling hot and sweaty. And
there was the back-to-back position we stood in, and your dress felt weird. And
I was like, this is scratchy! How is she putting up with this?! Because your poof was pressed up against my
legs! There were a couple of brief moments of nerves. But to have those out before the ceremony
actually made the ceremony a more enjoyable experience.
Yeah, I’d say so, too.
I knew what to expect. And that’s that
you weren’t going to come down the aisle a hot mess. I wasn’t nervous. Everything was good.
JEWEL: What impact do you feel like us seeing
each other before the wedding had on the ceremony?
BEN: I wouldn’t say that at any moment I
was nerve-wrecked. But if there were any
nerves, the first look helped make everything a more enjoyable experience. I wasn’t worried about anything. I was pretty sure you were going to show up.
Pretty sure? Hmm.
Because you don’t want to waste
money. But yeah, it just made everything
go smoothly. I was happy to get our pictures done before the second round with
all the family.
For the ceremony, I still felt
nervous. But it was mostly about walking
down the aisle and seeing you, and I didn’t want to look you straight in the eye,
even though we had just seen each other.
But for me, the first look didn’t really change anything. I was still
really happy to see you and get married and I feel like the first look made me
a little more relaxed during the ceremony.
Maybe even too relaxed?
Had you been drinking?
No!
I guess at the ceremony I felt like it was just you and me standing up
there even though there were all these people around us.
I don’t know if the first look caused that. I think it probably helped you get rid of any
remaining nerves about us being up there together, though. And as far you being
nervous about falling all over yourself and being worried about that, well that’s
just, you know, your own personal issues.
JEWEL: There is the tradition that says it’s bad luck to see the bride on the wedding day,
before the ceremony takes place. Have
you seen any signs of bad luck?
BEN: Cats are bad luck.
Cats ARE bad luck.
I’m not that superstitious, so I’m
really not worried about that. The
tradition was just somebody who once said the bride and groom shouldn’t see
each other because that will make it more special. And that just kind of
evolved into the modern day tradition. And that’s fine. It’s special in its own way. But it can also be special an hour or two
earlier.
I haven’t really seen any signs that we’re
headed for doom in our marriage because we saw each other before the wedding.
No, the doom is for other reasons. Not
because of that.