During this doctor's appointment I was so mad at myself. I'm pretty emotional--one of my least favorite things about my personality. I cry during everything, which could partially explain why I'm a Disney fanatic. Just mention The Fox and the Hound and my eyes start to well up. So before every doctor's appointment I have, I have to build myself up to prevent the tears from tumbling out of my eye sockets. But the shock of hearing that I've now reached that point where I need a kidney transplant immediately was simply too much.
I'd been clutching onto the idea of a GFR 15 since November. Believing steadfastly that the transplant would indeed happen after the wedding. That my plan would work. I'm doing yoga. I cook ALL my food so that I can monitor the salt, fat, cholesterol, protein, iron, and fiber content (I'm 25 and I limit myself to eating at restaurants twice a week). I limit myself to one beer or glass of wine per week. I take my medicine. I'm doing everything by the book.
It's tough sometimes, to get all "Life's not fair," "why can't I control this." At the end of the day I try to remind myself of three truths:
- Romans 8:28-- "..all things work together for the good of those who love God--those whom he has called according to his plan."
- Things could be so much worse. I'm lucky that kidney transplants are one of the most successful, easy, common surgeries performed in this day in age. For others, the scenario is much more dire.
- Miracles do happen.
To learn more about glomerular filtration rates, and to see what yours is, visit NKF's GFR web site.
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